This morning, as I was walking to my car to go to work, I noticed that I had forgotten an important step between locking my door and getting into the car: I forgot to get my keys and wallet. I usually don’t use the deadbolt, so I generaly do not have to use the keys to lock my door; I just twist the lock thingy on my way out.

Usually I keep an extra set of keys in my wallet, but in this case it was not going to help me.

In my entire time of my life I have never locked myself out of my own home (at least that I remember…), so this was a new occurance for me and I decided to play the part of the burgular.

At first I tried my windows and my sliding glass door. Aside from breaking the glass, which I contemplated briefly, this was not really an option. Lifting the glass door off its track or shaking the lock loose did not seem to work very much and only accomplished the goal of giving the impression to anyone wathcing me that I was up to no good.

My cats were not much help in the matter. They sat on the other side of the glass door and meowed in confusion to what precisely I was doing. Perhaps a dog would be able to take directions on how to open a door, but not a cat. They have better things to do with their time, like watch their caregiver try to jimmy his way back into his own home.

After a bit of thought I decided to call my parents to see if they had any of my spare sets of keys; I leave a set with them when I go on vacation and I need them to watch my cats. They did not, having given them back to me after my trip to Jackson Hole earlier this year, and suggested that I call a locksmith.

I do not know why, but calling a locksmith did not appeal to me. What if he required cash and I didn’t have any? What if all he did was try to bust the door in?

This gave me the idea to just give the door a little friendly body-check. After only two shoulder blows to the door I saw it opening a good centimeter. After hanging up with my parents I decided to just try to open the door this way and see what happens.

I really didn’t expect this to work, but it only took two more shoulder blows for the door to pop open, scaring the cats something awful. I was immediately very happy but then suddenly very concerned: Breaking into my home was far, far too easy. There was practically no damage to the door. The metal frame around the lock was bent a bit, but a few hammer blows knocked it back into place.

As I retrieved my wallet and keys and made my way over the river to work I contemplated the need for a better lock and having an extra set of keys made that will stay permanently in my parents’ possession. Plus I’ll start using the deadbolt when I leave. I stopped using the deadbolt after it got stuck one time and I was trapped outside in the winter cold for a good hour or two.

Still, if I had been using the deadbolt I would have had to call that locksmith. It makes me wonder… do locksmiths even use keys to get into their own homes or do they just practice their skills every time they get back from a job?

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